We Shouldn't
by lymerikk
Summary: Ganna is a pathetic lovedrunk fool who can't take that he doesn't have what he used to, and he pushes the boundaries too far. CaenGan CaenSui. OC fic.


"What are you doing?" he said, alert as the other man's fingers clutched into his shirt. He looked at his friend, brow narrowed, wary.

"I can't stand it anymore," the other man whispered, eyes closed, a small frown on his lips. His grip tightened a little, and he flicked his eyes open, looking down, away from Caen. "I just... Ugh," he murmured, failing to explain himself in words. Caen had his back up against the wall of Ganna's house, being held there gently by Ganna.

"Ganna, you know that can't happen," Caen insisted, gently taking Ganna's wrist, trying to move it from his chest. He kept his composure perfectly, he always did. "You have her. Besides, I don't think either of us can ignore our past together." He tried to move Ganna's hand again, but Ganna simply held on a little tighter, looking down at the ground, ashamed of himself.

"I can look past it," he insisted, trying to move closer to Caen, only to have the man's other hand planted firmly on his shoulder, stopping him from moving in any further.

"Ganna." He mumbled, glaring at him with an unintentionally cold stare.

"Caen," he murmured, voice quivering, letting go of Caen's shirt and just leaning against him, sniffling softly. "I just miss you," he murmured.

"You don't," Caen argued, face remaining stone-like as he gently pet Ganna's back. "You shouldn't, either. There's nothing worth missing."

"S'not what I mean."

Caen paused, leaning out of the half-embrace and looking at Ganna, weariness in his eye.

"I mean," Ganna sniffed, weakly wiping his eye. "I miss being in love with you." Caen went rigid, retracting his arm quickly.

"You shouldn't," he mumbled, holding his arm and staring at the ground. "Please don't."

"Caen," he whimpered. "Please, just.. That's not.. what I meant.. Again. I want.."

"Whatever you want, I don't want to hear it," Caen insisted, shaking his head quickly.

"I want to be in love with who you are now," Ganna managed to murmur, and it caught Caen off guard. "And I think I am."

"What.. makes you so sure?" Caen asked quietly, glancing up at the taller man. "You have someone else in your heart."

"It's not like there wasn't a place in there reserved especially for you."

Caen looked down, awkward, heart pounding with things he'd rather not feel. "Stop saying these things to me, Ganna. You have a commitment already."

"I can't do it anymore," Ganna whimpered, tears in his eyes. "I don't even love her.. Well, maybe there's something, but its nothing compared to what I feel for you!"

Caen grit his teeth, shoving Ganna away from him. Ganna was shocked. "Shut up with this nonsense!" he barked, glaring at Ganna, enraged. "It's not going to happen, Ganna! I've hurt you too badly and you should've moved on! God-.." he grunted, clenching his hands tightly into fists. The taller man was clearly scared; having weakly shuffled back, looking at Caen with those same frightened eyes from all those years ago. "Don't look at me with those eyes and tell me you're in love with me." Caen mumbled, turning his back to Ganna.

"But I do-.." Ganna whimpered.

"I don't love you, Ganna," said Caen, although he was lying, it was for the best. As if his feelings mattered at this point. "Stop thinking it'll work. You already have someone who loves you more than I ever could. Don't sacrifice that for me." With that said, he left, leaving Ganna sniffling and sitting pathetically on the floor.

* * *

"Suika, I think.. I mean, we've had a good run, right?" he said, trying to muster confidence. "We should see.. other people? No, that's not good," he murmured. "There's no-one else to see. Well, for her." He was talking to himself, rehearsing how to split his commitment with Suika in front of his mirror. He paced, thinking hard about the situation. He knew Caen still loved him. Of course he did. He could read how Caen looked at him, longing in his one gold eye. He could sense that feeling of Caen wanting to linger when he knew he should've gone home some time ago. Ganna felt the same, of course, and he could only assume Caen had been lying to him last night. They had known each other for a long time.

"I know you think you love me, but you don't," he tried, looking at himself in the mirror. "Suika, it's just.. It's not working out. I can tell we're not made for each other." He scoffed, running a hand through his hair. He tried about three more of these, before his bedroom door opened, slowly, creaking when it was halfway. Ganna didn't need to turn to see who it was.

"Ganna?" she said, quietly, tears welling in her reddening eyes. "What.. are you talking about?" Ganna bit his tongue, and turned around, smiling awkwardly.

"Ah... Um, Suika!" he wheezed. "I think we're at the end of our line, y'know?"

"No?" she murmured, lifting one of her hands to cover her mouth.

"I just don't feel it," he said quietly, feeling awful for making her cry. It was inevitable, though, he supposed. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this with you anymore."

Suika was silent, just staring at him, wanting to claw at his stupid fucking fake sympathetic smile. Part of her had always known this was coming. Not saying a word, she slammed his door and ran, as fast as her feet would take her, struggling to breathe regularly due to the sobs she tried so hard to choke down. It wasn't long before she exhausted herself, and fell her to her knees, snivelling and pathetic outside of Conna's place.

Hearing something from outside, Norven rose to his feet, wandering to he and Conna's door and opening it, eyes quickly catching on Suika. "Suika," he murmured, kneeling and putting his large hands softly on her back. "Suika, what's wrong?" His concern was palpable in just how he spoke, and Suika just leant forward, sobbing against her friend.

Suika was taken inside, and comforted as much as she could be by her best friends. They asked her what they could, and after figuring out what had transpired, rage swelled in both Conna and Norven's bellies, although Conna's moreso. "How dare he!" Conna spat, clenching tightly onto his blanket. "I'm gonna kick his fucking ass!" Suika was quiet, just leaning against Norven, who had been holding her against his warm body. "I swear to god! Of all the fucking people, of all the people to hurt, I-"

"What's going on?" asked Caen, standing at the open doorway. He brought the scent of the forest into the house, and it was made clear he'd been out foraging for herbs. "Suika?" he murmured, concern elevating significantly.

"It's fucking Ganna!" Conna protested, sitting up, colour only showing in his pale cheeks because he was fuming mad. "I can't believe he fucking dumped her! For no reason! I fucking- Agh!"

Caen sighed, putting his bag of herbs down just inside, and untying his eyepatch.

"Look after these for me," he mumbled, laying down his staff as well, expression unreadable. "I'll be back."

Like that, he was gone, making a beeline for Ganna's home. "Enki," he mumbled, glancing to the young girl in the lower floor of the house. "You won't see me after today."

"Are you going somewhere, Caen?" she asked, tilting her head, perfectly oblivious.

"Yeah. Goodbye." And he headed upstairs.

Caen busted open the door with a violent shove, having already cooked up a powerful rage in his stomach on the way up here. "Ganna!" he barked, madder than he could ever remember being. "What have you done!"

"Caen.." Ganna mumbled, turning with a tiny smile on his face. "I.. um.. I fixed it, so we can be together, yeah?" he said, standing up, fiddling with his hair. "I know you love me, and I love you too, so," he murmured. "I know how to tell when you're in love."

"I can't believe you," Caen grunted, storming closer, trying very hard not to lose his temper more than he already was. He brashly grabbed Ganna by the collar, yanking him closer. "You broke that girl's heart for something you know you can't have!"

"But I can have it," Ganna whimpered meekly, frightened. He hadn't seen Caen this mad in a very long time. "You're right here! I- I mean, I can tell you still love me, I-"

"Ganna, you're an idiot," Caen growled, shoving Ganna back, glaring at him with poison in his eye.

"Whether I do, or not, it doesn't matter." He continued, stepping forward, making himself seem bigger, broadening his shoulders. "Your actions are unacceptable. I do not love you, but that girl did. Get over me."

"You're the one meant for me, Caen," Ganna insisted, pathetic as he went forward, holding onto Caen's arm like a child. "I know, we've always had something special-" Caen just laughed.

"Something _special?_ " he scoffed, almost smiling at the ridiculousness of it. "Oh, this was so special," he murmured, parting his hair and revealing the disgusting seared skin where his left eye used to be. "Special indeed, mm, what true love," he grunted, tucking his hair behind his ear so his dead eye would remain in plain sight. "You were abused, taken advantage of, and hurt beyond repair, Ganna! You don't love me, nor should you! I did those things to you and you still love me?!" he spat, incredulous. "The only answer to that is that you're a damned idiot!"

Ganna was crying, tears rolling down his cheeks. He stumbled forward, trying to reach for Caen. "I love-"

Caen hadn't thought he'd ever go back to this. He didn't like violence, he hated abuse. He hated what he used to be, and he hated how he'd been to Ganna in the past. The only answer he could see was one he didn't like. He had to do it if he was going to get anywhere with this blathering idiot about to proclaim his love.

Caen slapped Ganna hard across the face.

It was quiet after that, the only sounds heard being Caen's ragged and angry breathing, and Ganna trying not to sob. Caen furrowed his brows, glaring down at Ganna, who had shrunk against the wall, curling up upon the ground. "I'm leaving this town," Caen murmured. "For good. Maybe you'll think about what both of us have done should we never meet again."

* * *

"So you're leaving town?" Suika asked quietly, sitting with Caen just outside Conna's house. She leant against him, seeking comfort even from the man she'd never gotten along with. He was clearly a lot better than she'd thought. She, Conna, and Norven, had all heard him shouting, heard raw emotion spat from his lips as he stood up for her and gave Ganna what he deserved. She appreciated his actions.

"Mm," Caen nodded, glancing down at the green-haired girl. "I don't wish to give him the privilege of seeing me around," he muttered. "What he has done has disgusted me incredibly." Suika glanced down. "You did not deserve this."

"Thanks, Caen," she murmured, starting to tear up again. "You're a good guy."

Caen scoffed. "I try."

"So.. Where are you going to go?" she asked, looking up at him with tired brown eyes. "Is there another town out there?"

"I'm probably going to go back to where I was after I left the first time," he murmured. "There's a clearing below a rocky overcrop where I made my home for years."

"If.. you're going," Suika said, uncertain whether she was making the right choice. "And.. um, if my family let me, could I accompany you?"

Caen was surprised by that, and he tilted his head, awkwardly scratching his cheek. "I don't see any issues with that. You'd have to pull your weight, though. Living in the wild is hard work."

"I'm a good gardener," Suika perked up, eyes perhaps taking a shine to them. "I could take some seeds from here and make a little farm or something out there!"

"Is that so?" Caen asked, smiling a little. "I am rather fond of fresh vegetables."

"I'll just.. I should ask my brother," Suika chuckled softly, wiping her eyes and standing up. "I'll be back shortly, okay?"

"Alright," Caen murmured, smiling faintly. He was glad she was laughing, even though he knew it was just to hide a little bit of her pain. Suika trotted across to her house, entering calmly and locating Vysk.

"Hey, brother," she said quietly, voice still a little shaky.

"Suiks," he answered, glancing up from something he was reading. After getting a good look at her, he paused, standing up. "You okay? Something happen?"

"No and yes," Suika mused softly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ganna.. w-well.. he.." Vysk filled in the blanks, and got angry instantly.

"He did WHAT?!" he barked, throwing the thing he was reading at the ground. "I'll kick his ass!"

Vysk went to charge for the door, but Suika stood as a barricade, blocking him from moving any further, as much as he tried to push past her. "Please don't try to hurt him," she said, a soft sigh all that her words were carried on. "Okay?" Vysk was clearly unhappy with that, but he would at least obey his sister. "I'll kick his ass with words," he mumbled.

"You can do that," she said quietly, looking at the ground. "Um, anyway.. What I came to ask is if you'd be okay with me moving out of town," Suika said quietly, tilting her head. "Caen's leaving, and I think I should leave with him." Vysk was silent for a moment, but just sighed.

"If he breaks your heart too, I'll hunt him down and kick his ass into space, okay?"

"Love you too, Vysk," Suika chuckled quietly, pulling her brother into a tight hug.

* * *

Caen and Suika told Conna and Norven of their departure, and were given tearful goodbyes. Caen, of course, gave directions to where they'd be, so Norven and Conna could stop by when they were in the area. After talking about this, it seemed the pair were also going to depart from this town, having lost their reason to stay. Conna was strong enough now to do a fair amount of walking, so they would travel, like they used to do. Suika said goodbye to her little sister, telling her they'd meet again someday, and Caen left them directions as well. He gave strict instructions not to allow Ganna to know of these directions, also. It seemed cruel, perhaps, but it was again for the best.


End file.
